USA TODAY: Carol Shockley helps people find living situations for their parents and other elderly loved ones

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Q&A by Dennis Carmody, Regional Producer – Business

ask-carol-interview

Carol Shockley, left, owner of Ask-Carol!, a business designed to help find home care or appropriate living situations for seniors, speaks to Carol Austin of Fair Haven, who used the services of Ask-Carol! to find housing for her father at Brandywine Senior Living at The Sycamore, one of the facilities where Shockley places clients, in Shrewsbury.

Carol Shockley owns Ask-Carol! Senior Living Guidance, Tinton Falls, www.ask-carol.com, 732-982-1616

Describe your business: I offer free help to families to find appropriate senior living and care for their elderly parents, most often assisted living, but sometimes independent living or even home care. Read more

Slip and Falls Lead to Death for Elderly

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You may have read recently about the 85 year old matriarch of the New York Giants football team who fell during an ice storm and two weeks later died on Super Bowl Sunday from head injuries suffered in the fall. Maybe you also read about another senior who apparently fell in the snow last weekend and was found dead the next day alongside a neighbor’s car. On the same weekend, an elderly man in New York died in the cold while walking home using a different route than normal. His family didn’t find him until it was too late.

Snow and ice are dangerous for all of us, but for seniors the hazard is multiplied. There are two things at work here. First, as we age our muscles weaken, our knees often become less stable, we are often heavier, and our reactions are slower. Couple that with weakening bones, and fractures and even death become more and more a risk.

But the other thing is that mental functions slow as well. Many seniors over-estimate their physical abilities and underestimate the dangers of even minor risks. Read more

Helping Your Elderly Parent Focus – Just In Time For The Holidays

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One of the most difficult things in dealing with an elderly parent, especially one with some dementia, is getting them to focus on their future and make good decisions. This is where you can be a big help.

You may find this a bit strange, but helping a parent to focus begins with getting yourself to focus!

Here’s an example. A daughter living in NJ decided that her Mom, who lived in Georgia, needed assisted living. Of course, she talked with Mom about it and Mom gave the usual response. Never.

That threw her for a loop, and so she decided to start visiting independent living and assisted living facilities to see if there was one she thought Mom might agree to go to. And so she started the grand tour of facilities, with no real strategy in mind.

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When Mom Says No to Assisted Living… and She Means It.

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Most Moms initially say no to assisted living (Dads are usually willing), and changing Mom’s mind isn’t easy – unless you let someone else, preferably outside the family, help.

My Mom needed assisted living (home care was a disaster) but each time I tried to talk with her she would cut me off and refuse to talk about it.

One of my neighbors is a nurse, and she suggested that I get my Mom’s doctor involved. My Mom loved her doctor and that made a lot of sense, so I went in to see him, and he agreed to talk to her about assisted living. She went to the doctor monthly, so on her next visit he spoke with her with her. It helped.

My Mom and I then had a couple of heart-to-heart talks, and she agreed to at least visit an assisted living facility – she had never been to one. To shorten this story, she loved assisted living, just as most Moms do.

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Things You and Your Family can do to Help Make the Transition From Home Living to Assisted Living Easier

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The transition from home living to assisted living can be difficult for both the person in transition as well as the rest of the immediate family. There are, however, several things you and your family can do to help make the transition as easy and painless as possible. Here are a few tips that will help with the transition from home living to assisted living.

It is a good idea to set up the living quarters ahead of time. There is absolutely nothing worse than walking into a bare room and realizing that is where you will be living. Set up all the furniture nicely and don’t forget to add things like pillows and blankets to make it feel caring and warm. We also suggest you spent time hanging pictures and setting up plants, every little bit you do before the move in will be greatly appreciated. The more familiar objects that are seen on move in day, the better your loved one will feel about the transition.

Another good idea is to let the staff at the facility know what your love one’s preferences are. The more information they have about your loved one, the better they are able to ease them into their new settings. Don’t forget to include information about daily routines and other habits your loved one might have.

It is also a good idea to make sure your loved one has an ample supply of their favorite foods and beverages. Food, after all, is utilized in times of stress as a way to provide comfort to yourself. Also, it is in the theme of keeping things as familiar as possible during the transition.  Remember, these tips will make a big difference during the transition.